Tuesday, 16 July 2013

It's not a diet.

So how have the first few days of my new lifestyle and eating habits been...?

Interesting. I've done well and I'm proud of myself, I'm finding it easier than I thought I would. Sure, I've had a treat if I've wanted one, but I've always counted it in my syns.

We never did a full shop until yesterday and I feel much happier now knowing that I have plenty of SW friendly food in my kitchen. I've been eating fruit everyday and not always using all of my syns up either, but that's okay.

I was struggling to use my Healthy Extra B (Fibre = HEXB) for the first few days, and I never had anything. I had gotten some Special K bars that I thought would work, but apparently not. Yesterday I got some bran flakes, wholemeal bread and Alpen bars though, and I can use any of those for HEXB.  As for HEXA (Dairy = HEXA) I've used it for the same thing everyday... Cheese! I absolutely love cheese, so I've been having 3 babybel light cheeses, either in an omelette or with my pasta.

Yesterday I had a major meltdown day, I'm not sure what happened but everything got on top of me, worries and concerns that I've been bottling for months all came to the surface, my BF and I weren't getting along (probably because of me) and I had a cry, like a really major cry, I sobbed.. I hadn't cried so much in ages. I told my BF how I hated myself and body image so much and I need to change because I cannot go on like this, it goes very deep and I don't even know when I started to feel like this about myself, but I do and it's wrong. It just all came out yesterday! I think this change is making me realise how much I want and need to do it. What emotional business!

I'm on the path to changing that now, so I'm going to try so hard to be positive. One thing I have to keep telling my BF is that this is a lifestyle change. He keeps calling it a diet and I'm like: "No! People quit diets. This is for life." I swear, I feel so determined right now, and I truly hope that stays.

Onto exercise.. I hardly did anything much before SW so I am not very fit, but I've been trying more since joining.. My consultant did tell me I could wait a few months before introducing any, but I figured if I start small and build up, I'll get more used to it. So I've done a little walking the last few days and one day I did a stair climb, up and down over and over until I couldn't any more. I don't know how many I managed, but it was just under two minutes and I felt like I was going to die! Hah. I need to work on my fitness slowly and build up.

I feel better today than yesterday and I'm wondering how weigh in on Friday will be. I told my BF I'd be so upset if I haven't lost anything.. He says I shouldn't be. So I guess we'll see.. I feel I should have because I've been trying to hard.

Until next time!

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